Love and Other Hazards in War
by SophiaTab
Summary: Lourdes/Jamil, inspired by their interaction in the 1st of season 2. May become AU depending on how the storyline of Falling Skies progresses.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Lourdes had kissed him! A year ago extraterrestials had invaded Jamil Dexter's world killing nine-tenths of the population. Eight months ago he had been fighting to keep his family alive in the ruins of Boston when he heard rumors that there was finally organized resistance. Three months ago he had buried his mother and his brother in the same shallow grave because the 2nd Mass had to bug out before they were overrun by Skitters. Eight hours ago he had escaped over a bombed out bridge patched by his engineering team. But forty-five minutes before their escape the angel of mercy who had lived in his dreams since the moment he met her, kissed him. This was the best day of his life!

After securing the debris from the alien crash site Ben Mason had discovered, he found Lourdes in the new medical center head crashed against one wall asleep in a chair. Even tired and grimy she was still his angel. He squatted down and shook her knee. She bolted awake instantly. Okay that hadn't been as cool a move as when he had thought it out in his head. "You're exhausted. Let me take you home."

"I don't have a home anymore," she said.

He raised them both up. "Come on, let's find you someplace to sleep." He already knew where that was going to be. After a few steps she fell against him. "Want me to carry you?"

"You're tired to," she mumbled.

When she nearly fell again, he ignored her protests and picked her up. His guys had moved fast to claim the cabins by the garages and the best furniture, so he had real bed for her tonight. She went to sleep before he finished taking off her shoes. She looked so perfect lying there his chest swelled like he was breaking in two. This was definitely the best night of his life.

. . . . . . . .

Lourdes wasn't plagued by nightmares about the Skitters. Her dreams were intensely more disturbing. Her subconscious seemed engorged with sinful impulses about Jamil. In her dreams they did everything the nuns taught her was immoral. And it had all felt so good! Better than any happiness she had ever experienced and she never wanted it to end. She woke up under Jamil's arm in the deep night. Fear shot through her. Had something happened?

Jamil stirred. Instead of removing his arm he pulled her tight against him. His body heat shot spikes through her. "Nightmares?" he asked.

"Uh, huh," she managed to say.

"I get those sometimes," he said.

She felt his lips against her forehead. Where was she? It felt like they were lying on a mattress, so this was probably his new quarters. Someone knocked on the door.

"Go away," Jamil said.

"Open this door or I'll kick it in," Maggie shouted.

Jamil bolted up to open the door. Flashlights blinded her, then Maggie came into view.

"Are you all right?" Without waiting for an answer, she pulled away Lourdes's covers.

"I'm all right," Lourdes said.

"Do you want us to take you back to your quarters?" Maggie asked.

Who was us? Lourdes noticed Jamil and Captain Weaver in the doorway. Their conversation seemed very animated. "I don't know where my quarters are here?" Lourdes said.

Maggie handed Lourdes her shoes. "You can stay with me."

She put on her shoes, got up, and followed Maggie to the doorway. Jamil stepped in front of her. He pulled her chin up and kissed her. Lightening went off behind her eyelids. She was going to have a lot more dreams of immoral behavior with him tonight. He just smiled at her. "Looks like we set off some alarms. See you tomorrow."

Once they were away from Jamil, Maggie started asking questions again. "Do you want me to wake Dr. Glass? Did he do anything to you? You can tell us. You're safe."

"I don't think so," Lourdes replied. As disturbing as the dreams had been she didn't think Jamil had molested her. He wasn't the type or at least she didn't think he was the type.

"Maggie, all of her clothes are fastened in the right places," Captain Weaver said.

Maggie snapped back. "Which doesn't prove anything. She's not even eighteen."

"I have seventeen year olds leading combat missions. If they are old enough to die in battle, they're old enough to have sex." Weaver said.

That's what this was all about. Maggie and Captain Weaver thought Jamil and her had been fornicating. She knew there were plenty of unmarried couples in the camp living in sin, but didn't they know her better than that? "We weren't sleeping together," Lourdes said quickly. "I mean we were sleeping in the same bed, but we weren't doing anything, but sleeping. I mean I'm very tired."

She stayed in her cot past breakfast to avoid Jamil. He found her anyway in the medical center where she couldn't easily escape him.

"I missed you at breakfast." He kissed her on the check. It wasn't as fiery as a mouth kiss, but she felt hot just the same.

"Last night was disturbing. I overslept." She said.

"Yeah, Captain Weaver read me the riot act last night about never carrying a woman off unless she's fully conscious. I just thought you needed some sleep." He said.

She asked the obvious question. "In your bed?"

A sexy smile spread across his lips. "It could be our bed."

Fear shot through her followed by anger. Who did he think he was? She stepped as far away as she could and tried to look busy arranging bandages. "One kiss isn't a license to haul me away."

She felt his hands on her upper arms stroking away the tension. Warm breath flowed down her neck chasing out the winter cold. It was so much like last night's dreams that she wanted to turn around, kiss him again, and let him carry her off to do what he wanted. She remembered the nuns, the saints, the martyrs, and reaffirmed her resolve. She wasn't naïve enough to deny desire, but she was strong enough to refuse sin.

"I'm sorry. I should have known you would want some time," he said.

He sounded sincere. That made her feel safer. Then without warning his arms went around her tight as steel and he lifted her a few inches off the floor so his lips touched her ear. "Just don't keep me waiting long. We're living from day to day."

She nodded. She would have to think of a way to handle this that didn't require her to lose him. She wanted Jamil's company, but not at the price of mortal sin. But what else was left for them in a shattered world? It wasn't fair. She had always been virtuous. She had always avoided temptation. Every touch from him felt like one of Job's trials.

"Can I see you tonight?" Jamil asked.

"Okay, but not in your room." Alone was too dangerous.

A different sexy smile crossed his face. Everything the man did seemed to radiate lust. "There's a band in camp now. It's mostly fiddles and flutes, but it's music."

She did enjoy the music. Even more she enjoyed being with Jamil. In his arms she felt safe to a point. She didn't think about the battle to survive. But after awhile all she thought about was sex. When he left her with scorched lips at the door to her and Maggie's room, she knew her dreams would be wet and restless.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

When they evacuated Lourdes rode with Jamil instead of in the medical bus. That was a mistake. In less than half an hour he was driving with only hand on the wheel and his arm around her because she was crying. It rained the night after they buried Jimmy. Maybe God wept. More likely the answer to that was no. Lately God seemed indifferent if not hostile. Why Jimmy? She knew there were people who would say Jimmy was in a better place and spared from the pain of this life. But it didn't feel that way. She remembered past conversations with the young fighter. He had wanted her to teach him how to dance because sometimes there was dancing in camp. It was a way for people to unwind and take their minds off the war. Jimmy had died without ever dancing with a girl. It felt like God was abandoning them again. When the 2nd Mass finally stopped she lead Jamil into the back of the truck and started unbuttoning her shirt. He stopped her.

"Not when you're grieving for Jimmy." He kissed her hand.

"I don't want to think about Jimmy. I want to feel something else." Even if that something else was pain from a torn hymen and clumsy, tired sex. He could do whatever he wanted with her tonight if it would make her stop thinking about Jimmy.

"All right. I'll help you relax, but the first time we make love will be in a better place at a better time." He pulled her across his lap and kissed her. "Try to keep quiet. We got visual privacy in here, but anybody walking by can hear us."

She wasn't sure what he had in mind when undid her jeans if they weren't going to have sex. Then she felt his hand slide underneath her underwear. An immoral act. That was one doctrine of the Church she didn't entirely agree with. Masturbation often seemed a better choice than sexual acts with a partner. She wasn't so prudish as to have never indulged in the practice even if she did feel guilty sometimes. Okay, most times she felt guilty especially now that images of Jamil had replaced all the other fantasy lovers in her mind. And the others had all been fantasies. She had never had any man come as close to having her as Jamil. Sex was for a consecrated marriage. Anything else was breaking her pact with God. Until now when it felt like God had deserted her and the only thing that kept her breaking down in pain and rage was the fact that Jamil was holding her. He was the rock she clung to and he felt warm and alive in an ice-cold world.

Jamil worked with hot metal, wire, chemicals and tools with sharp edges. She knew it had to callous his hands, but tonight his fingers seemed wrapped in silk. Warm waves started to radiate across her midsection. The pleasure felt more intense with his hands touching her. Of course, he did have more sexual experience. Sometimes when she was feeling petty she wondered just how much. A fresh wave of pleasure drove those thoughts from her mind.

"You're biting down on you lip?" Jamil whispered.

"You said not to make noise," she murmured.

He chuckled. "I knew it. You're a screamer." He repositioned them so they were face to face. "Bite down on my shoulder if you want to. I bet I'll get off on the pain."

Her stomach flip-flopped. What he had said was surprisingly thrilling even beyond what his hands were doing to her now. "You can't be serious?"

He winked. "You won't know until you try me."

A spike of pleasure shook through her. It never felt so powerful when she touched herself. That had been pleasant and satisfied her cravings. This was like she had imagined making love would be. It wasn't a solitary act. When she gazed into Jamil's eyes the intensity she saw there burned her, but in a good way. Realizing how much he wanted to please her only drove her pleasure higher. And then her body was catapulted past the truck and the camp, into a stratosphere where the aliens even were no more and there was only this singular powerful bliss that wiped out everything else for a few moments. This was why people had sex even when it was bad idea, even when it was a sin, and even why they would risk eternal damnation!

She rested her head on his shoulder. Her eyelashes seemed to weigh a pound each. As Jamil refastened her jeans she wondered sleepily if he wanted her to do anything for him. She had never touched any of the guys she had dated sexually. A virtuous woman didn't, but a virtuous woman wouldn't have let Jamil do what he had just done. She should reciprocate, but she didn't really know how. He would probably be disappointed if she admitted that to him now. It was so difficult navigating off the moral path. No wonder the Church gave so many guidelines. It made life so much easier.

Jamil eased her out of the truck. "Let's find out where you and Maggie are sleeping before she kicks my ass."

He carried her somewhere in a maze of tunnels and tents. She heard Maggie's voice. "Is she all right?"

"She's been crying all night over Jimmy," Jamil said.

He laid her down on a flat surface. It felt harder than a cot, but she knew she should have no trouble falling asleep even if it was cold. Something warm and heavy was laid on top of her. The fabric smelled like Jamil too.

"And how do you plan on keeping warm?" Maggie asked.

"A couple of layers of coveralls. I'll find some more blankets tomorrow." Jamil said.

"Tell me you used birth control," Maggie said.

"Didn't need any?" Jamil replied.

"Oh really?" Maggie sounded combative now.

Jamil snapped back. He usually didn't get angry. "Yeah, really. She's exhausted and upset."

She was almost asleep when she heard Maggie's voice much softer than before. "Okay, maybe I was partially wrong the other night. You really do seem to care about her."

"She's my angel." His lips were on her forehead. It felt so comforting. Then the world went entirely black.

No sexual dreams plagued her sleep that night, but she woke up feeling uncomfortable. Of course, she did wake up on a concrete shelf covered only with a thin blanket and Jamil's coat, but that wasn't the real reason. She shouldn't have let Jamil do what he did last night. It wasn't right for them to be so intimate if they weren't married. And how was she going to face him now? Ignoring an aching stomach she choose to miss breakfast again which only resulted in him bringing her tea and johnny cakes in the medical bus.

"How did you sleep last night?" His voice was nothing, but concern.

"I managed," she said avoiding his eyes.

He moved closer until she couldn't avoid him. "Hey, what's wrong? I had a good time last night."

She squirmed out of his arms. "Last night, we shouldn't have done what we did."

"Come on, Lo. You needed something to take your mind off Jimmy dying. You needed comforting." He said.

"Is that the way you usually comfort women?" she asked actually hoping to distract him with a fight.

He sat down on one of the med bus bunks and pulled her next to him. She wasn't in his lap, but she was standing close enough that she couldn't easily avoid looking at his face. His expression was sober, but not harsh. "You needed more than a hug last night and what happened was considerably less than what you offered me."

Her face boiled. She had been hoping. No she had been dreaming that he wouldn't remember quite every detail of the evening especially the part where she started undressing. Luckily, Jamil had some mercy. He grabbed both her hands and softly kissed the knuckles. "Hey, hey, calm done. I knew you were upset last night and I wouldn't have taken you up on that offer under those circumstances."

Okay, that was a good thing. It was the right thing, the noble thing for him to say. It made her feel much better, but not completely, and especially not with him smiling up at her so coolly while he continued to play with her hands. He kissed her hands again. "Your skin is so soft. You got the healing touch." He said.

She pulled herself away. "Please, Dr. Glass, really needs me to finish the inventory."

He nodded. "Want my help?"

She managed to make it to one of the supply chests. "No, it's better if I do all the work myself. That way I'll have a better memory for our stocks."

"Okay," he got up from the bunk and walked over to her.

She jumped slightly when he touched her cheek. His lips sent molten fire all the way to her toes.


End file.
